Am I Messed Up? | January 20, 2011

by Joe

Sorry I haven’t been around the comments or the forums, but I know you understand why! :D

I’ve been in the hospital visiting my wife and baby for about 8 hours a day, without internet, so I’ve had time to work on the story a bit :) Today is my last day of visiting and my family comes home! Hooray! The real fun begins! :D

I noticed something funny about myself during my hospital visits this week. Every time I enter a hospital and walk down the halls or sit in a waiting room, I think about zombies. I automatically scan the areas that I’m in to find the nearest exits, closed and open doors, and any potential weapons immediately in reach (like metal poles) just in case a zombie (or zombies) suddenly turn the corner. I think about how I can save the people around me. I think about food and water sources, in case we’re trapped. I observe the hospital staff to judge who the most competent and knowledgeable person is. After a few seconds, I snap back to reality and routine.

Come to think of it, I automatically check my surroundings, with zombies in mind, pretty much anywhere I go! Of course, I don’t let it affect my life or ruin my day, but I am consciously aware that my mind does these things.

Am I messed up or does anyone else do this? Let me know of your own “funny” stories :D

I added a donation bar to the end of every blog post! For this particular donation bar, a very hungry Joe is trying to get to his coveted and delicious taco, but he needs your support to reach it! I’m extremely grateful to the people who have donated the $45 so far :D Thanks to you, Joe is almost halfway to his meal! $100 gets Joe his taco, so if you have the means to support The Pocalypse financially, please donate (the donation bar button links to PayPal)! I sincerely thank you in advance! (The donation bar is updated manually by me, so your donation will not automatically move Joe down the line. Just so you know :D)

Please continue to vote!

Enjoy Scene 19 – “Party of Three”!

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Timmy HarleQuin
Timmy HarleQuin
11 years ago

I have a box in my attic with a hand axe, tinned food, batteries, a torch, rope, blanket and a map of Ireland (where i live)… just in case!

Geolancer, Guardian of the Light
Geolancer, Guardian of the Light
11 years ago

Too bad, I don’t have 3D glasses either, don’t worry Joe, I’ll give you a bandana with 3D lens for eyes. Just to be prepared

sh4d0wfl4re
sh4d0wfl4re
11 years ago

Just in case I need to use a zombie plan I bought a katana from a friend. This was after learning (a bit of) touyamiyou (basic sword training(pardon the spelling)).
Hopefully it means I know enough to not stab myself and not break my katana on the first zombie, mutant or whatever breaks the world.

mikelord356
mikelord356
11 years ago

well ive seen and read alot of movies and books on zombie i even saw the the original night of the living dead. i always go for blunts (note weapons like baseball bats and metal poles) and blades like knives. in the bathroom i have a metal pole behind the toilet and a knife in the toilet paper roll. so im very cautious when a zombie apocalypse happens.

PoisonousJoy
PoisonousJoy
11 years ago

Are the Doc’s 3D glasses a reference to “Zombies ate my Neighbors” or it’s just me ? :P

Ashendant
Ashendant
11 years ago

Lol you answered my question XD

Ashendant
Ashendant
11 years ago

Sorry my money is closely watched

Ashendant
Ashendant
11 years ago

Could you add a link to tv troopes page like you did with Wiki?

NeoPhantom, Mirage Warrior of the Netherlands
NeoPhantom, Mirage Warrior of the Netherlands
11 years ago

3D glasses? That’s dumb… Wacky porfesor…

Yoinkinator
Yoinkinator
11 years ago

Well Joe, we’re glad that you do have time to update the comic despite all that is happening :)

Doc has a point… *grabs his 3D glasses*

Aethrys
Aethrys
11 years ago

You’re not messed up joe, you just fit in with the people who frequent this site:

http://www.zombiesarecoming.com/

tWiCHY
tWiCHY
11 years ago

haha only i shall experience thethird – and best – dimension fools!

Curator
Curator
11 years ago

I have a complex and comprehensive plan for surviving the zombie apocalypse, I created this, and ran it by my friends whom I felt could help most with it, the way its set up, 10-15 people could survive for one year, without ever leaving the designated shelter area, large trucks available that are so far off the ground that unless zombies are awesome climbers, if we needed to leave for any reason, we would be fine (you can also get into the back from the cab, very useful)… the location picked is literally a few hundred feet from a wal-mart with a shielded loading dock which we have a key for (dont ask) only two entrances from the store to the back, both easily permanently blocked with wrapped pallets of heavy tv’s which are already located near those doors, one can be blocked, the other semi-blocked so we can peruse the store, kill off any zombies in there, and eat all the most perishable food first.

To the left of our location looking out is the wal-mart, to the front is an Urgent care clinic, directly to the right, its a tall wall making an impenetrable barrier on one side of our property, this wall is part of a large hospital, with great generators and huge supplies of extra fuel and medical supplies since its the only hospital in our area… Directly within our complex (An Ace hardware!) we are already surrounded by a large fence with razor wire on it, but we have everything we need to build a giant wall with rebar and cinder blocks, then fill the insides with concrete, which we also have hundreds and hundreds of bags available… and we have timed out how long it would take us to build a wall 20 feet high, 3 cinder blocks deep, we built a test section, then measured out where we would need to make the wall, and figured out we could build the whole wall with as little as the base 6 of us in about 9 hours, 14 if you count in the fact we will probably slow down allot near the end…

And last but not least, we have a friend who would be joining us in this hypothetical situation who literally has the materials to make millions of rounds of various types of ammo, with a ton already made, and of course, he has ALLOT of guns,lol… oh, and we are also right across the street from the water tower for the whole area, which we also have the key needed to enter the property, our team has an EMT, A Doctor, The Ammunition guy who is ALSO an amazing mechanic that can fix just about anything, A licensed contractor who has been in the business working for his dad since he was old enough to hold a hammer, a Survivalist that is familiar with all of the natural resources in our area (me), and a highly decorated U.S. Army sharpshooter who actually just got out of the service late last year. I think we are as ready as anyone can be…

And be4 anyone asks…No, I dont think the zombie apocalypse is really going to happen, but growing up in a small town, you get bored…really bored…lol… Oh, and I do the same thing with the locations in man, your not crazy, at least not compared to me…lol

mad_wolf
mad_wolf
11 years ago

well hoe welcome to the club of slightly disturbed people who make zombie survival a hobby

Yan
Yan
11 years ago

XKCD guy has the same kind of paranoia, but for raptors. It’s nothing to be worried about, maybe thanks to you more people will survive zombeeh attack.

mikelord356
mikelord356
11 years ago

yep everyone has paranoia and you don know when that paranoia might turn into instinct.it looks like everyone here is as paranoid as me especialy joe. :P

JediVash
JediVash
11 years ago

I… totally agree with the goofy looking but also I always feel bad when I see a 3D pic and have no glasses around…

Asparagus
Asparagus
11 years ago

No doc, its not that kind of 3-D picture, it’s a random dot stereogram!

Curator
Curator
11 years ago

@joe
If you can hit a bullseye from 100 yards (even I can do that with a good scoped rifle, and im the worst shot in the group,lol…if you can do it with a handgun, then you are definitely in!lol) or provide some other skill that can help us survive, then you’ll be welcome in our group, id like to say that you’d be welcome no matter what, but I have the survival of myself and friends I need to think of first, awesome webcomic artists come second… sorry bro. (camp whore is still an open position, pun intended) but most of us are straight, so I dont think youd get the votes needed to assume that roll, plus im sure your family wouldnt be happy with the idea of you taking one or two for the team… hahahaha:)

Din Uytterhoeven
Din Uytterhoeven
11 years ago

hehe i worked out an entire ‘zombie-plan’ in case the come, it’s pretty bad ass. Been working on it since last year xp.

Barb
Barb
11 years ago

Just curious Joe do you have the whole comic planned out or do you just go with it scene bye scene?

For some reason I got thinking, in regards to us voting for which character’s go to rescue Rosa, about that PC game Maniac Mansion, where depending on which characters you chose for a team, you have different ways of trying to finish the game.
So if you planned out the whole comic do you have to redo certain scenes cause of the different people being used or it’s no biggie cause you kinda do the comic scene by scene?

Liro Raeriyo
Liro Raeriyo
11 years ago

I do something similar, instead of zombies, its girls, if you thought girl fan-clubs worshiping the hottest guy in school were not real then think again, I was chased a lot in school because i hung around the most popular guy in school, and girls hounded me for information.

If you got mislead into thinking i meant myself then your a fool, I`m far from beautiful or handsome or gorgeous.

Eastar
Eastar
11 years ago

Oh hell,
Joe my man I do that all the time especialy when I’m in spaces where there is no exit like in a public bathroom or in the laundry room. I’ve taken to carrying a heavy walkin stick or my pointy unbrella. In my own home I’m never far from something that can be used for zombie defence. The only projectiles I like are archery equipment cause it makes the least amount of noise.
Jeeze that makes me sound weird
Anyway, you know what would be a cool special feature? if you did one of the comics in 3D like for the goggles cause I have tons of the things around my house from different promotions and things I even have a pair that woks with sidwalk chalk.

Brainfree
Brainfree
11 years ago

$100 for a taco?!

… that must be one hell of a taco.

Ugly Baby Judges You
Ugly Baby Judges You
11 years ago

I do the whole zombie scan thing as well! Except I don’t look around and think how to save the people around me, I look around to see who I can outrun and who I need to incapacitate instead. I also zombieproof my house on a regular basis…

Insanity is subjective, or so I hear.

Ellie
Ellie
11 years ago

I don’t think that’s wierd at all, but is it weird that a 13 year old keeps a knife and a map over her house under her bed?

Tenyo
Tenyo
11 years ago

Heh. Am I the weird one? When I look for exits and potential weapons, I’m usually thinking about defense against the other people around me. ;) And Curator, that is probably the most advanced zombie defense plan I’ve ever heard. I’m willing to bet if your lives depended on it, you’d build the wall faster.

I find it funny though, how just about every zombie survival plan revolves around the local Wal-mart, or mall, or even hardware store. When the fecal matter collides with the high-velocity rotating cooling unit, everyone else in your town will be headed there too. Everyone. Your best bet then is to get as far as you can from cities and towns. That’s where the competition is, that’s where the infection is. Good time to be or know a boy scout. ^-^

Brainfree
Brainfree
11 years ago

There is a reason I have an underground bunker out in the wilderness… and that’s because, when any indigestible food matter hits any wind appliance I don’t want to be anywhere near a city.

NeoPhantom, Mirage Warrior of the Netherlands
NeoPhantom, Mirage Warrior of the Netherlands
11 years ago

Why not just built a building whose only entranced is accesible through ropeladders, like a treehouse? Built something on the side of a canyon give it that kind of ladder and you have total privacy from zombies, unless one happens to climb to the top of the canyon and fall over the hedge…
Anyways, my plan is way too complicated to work off alone… But I trust few to go along with it… First off is heading to the PoliceCenter of my town and “borrow” one of their heavily armored vehicles–(best be if accompained, but unlikely as everyone is likely to head somewhere else…) Second, I’d storm to the Stores at the plaza (especifically one in particular that especializes on war equipment and protective weapons). This allows for a bit of protection for the time being… Next I would head to the nearest well protected facility in my town (which happens to be my old school… It’s just impenetrable and innescapable!!!!! :P )
Once I set up there a few strings, innitiate Plan A-6{search for fellow survivors}. This phase may take a long time, longer if I start alone or if those with me don’t wish to help me… Anyways, people mostly hide stuck within their homes, so we have to go house from house while inside the vehicles to keep us safe; entering only by smashing the door with the rear of the vehicle, which can easily take those kind of hits (seen it during a drugdealer assault)
Soon after or most likely during this phase we, I, or they’ll, depending on how things are going, initiate Plan A-5{search for resorces–AKA:WalmartAssault}
If we have survived long enough and Gasoline hasn’t been a problem during scouting and rescuing, we would head to another town to *rinse and repeat* :P
Other than my own town, I know the perfect defensive place in my island’s Capital… A fortress of stone with elevating bridge made during the time of Conquist of our land to fend off Corsairs!!!!!!!!!!! It is heavily guarded, but lacks resorces and smells like pee ;.; No one can get in… Or out lamentably…

Finally, we would begin Operation: Neptune; taking over the largest boat in the western side of the island and sail away to somewhere relatively safe! This operation is way too risky though as the resorces would then become liimited, so we would only be able to operate this when the time is ready and ripe…

TheEnigmaticMuffin
TheEnigmaticMuffin
11 years ago

Blargh, wish I had been around when this page was released. I don’t know how often you check old comments pages, but that ‘and’ is missing a ‘d’ in the sentence “When the target vampire is killed and has deteriorated into ash, collect the blood-filled bullets and bring them to me!”.

NeoPhantom, Mirage Warrior of the Netherlands
NeoPhantom, Mirage Warrior of the Netherlands
11 years ago

@Enigma & Joe- lol