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The Architect

Deadliest “Warrior”! 09/22/2011

by Joe

Anybody watch Spike TV’s “Deadliest Warrior” show? If you’ve never seen it, let me give you a quick rundown. Each episode showcases two different “warriors” from around the world and pits them against each other based on historical data, weapons, combat experience, tactics, etc. Of course, the two competitors are from similar times, so you wouldn’t see a US Army Sniper versus a Japanese Ninja. You would, however, see a Ninja versus a Greek Spartan (which actually was an episode!). All the data is inputted into a “special program” that simulates thousands of battles based on the numbers. This is the part that I think is silly. A friend of mine put it best: They’re just typing numbers into an Excel spreadsheet. :D But, it is an entertaining show and you do get to see some cool weapons (ancient and modern) in action.

Anyways! The last episode had such a neat concept that I had to watch it: zombies versus vampires! Yup, they gathered data like bite strength, claw strength, speed, etc. and, like every other episode, the data was crunched and battles were simulated! It was interesting to see zombie and vampire “experts” weigh in their opinions, such as Steve Niles of “30 Days of Night” fame and Max Brooks, writer of “World War Z”. Yes, they are fiction writers, but zombies and vampires are fiction too, so it made sense :D

If you want to go watch it, stop reading here because I’m going to spoil :D

The simulated battle (which is dramatized at the end) revealed the victor: vampires! Now, they didn’t put 3 vampires up against 3 zombies, since the zombies’ main advantage was their strength in numbers. Instead, it was 3 vampires verses 150 or so zombies. The vampires’ speed, strength, and intelligence eventually won over the zombie mob, but not before losing 2 vampires to the horde. I wasn’t surprised, but the ending did make me smile. The last vampire ended up suffering bites and the very last scene of the simulated battle showed the vampire being taken over by the zombie virus. I instantly thought of Andrius :D

Check it out! It’s not the greatest show, kinda like a bloodier version of Mythbusters, but if weapons and ballistic gel dummies spewing fake blood entertain you, you should be thoroughly entertained :D

PS. I think a Ninja could kill a Spartan, no problem :)

Enjoy Scene 17 – “Empty Promises”!

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Finally the cats out of the bag!

Jeff on September 22, 2011 at 1:48 pm

HOLY CRAP! FIRST! anyway… this one’s scary…. very… i had to mute…ugh.

Shocked on September 22, 2011 at 1:49 pm


Edward on September 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Loved that episode of Deadliest Warrior. i just think that they could have done a better way of figuring out how many zombies they should have had per vampire. I was also rather disappointed that the zombies didnt win in the end lol, but so glad when the last remaining vampire died.

laserhead on September 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm

That was thrilling =D. And I haven’t seen the deadliest warrior in quite a while now!

Jaccep on September 22, 2011 at 2:10 pm

wait.. i wasn’t first! c’mon…..

i cant believe Annika would Follow Bernie..
and then now what? sounds are loud
Zombies got out fast.

then BOOP! how Shocking

Shocked on September 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Who thinks annika will get some kind of powers and save Bernie ass? *raise hands*

Man, this thing is getting so good, can’t wait for more!…

P.S: So watching that show now.

Alex on September 22, 2011 at 3:17 pm

I love how you cut it off just as the vampire broke through the door, I think that is the first time you have done that. Oh and OH SHIT SON!!!

Matthew on September 22, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Oh crap! Zombie invasion!

Nick on September 22, 2011 at 4:07 pm

I laughed, I cried and I did everything else in between
Fantastic episode
Brilliant cut

Highcalibur10 on September 22, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I betcha the vampire elder will kick the vampires ass…

Rasmus Nielsen on September 22, 2011 at 6:01 pm

the video is not available from your location not nice not nice

zenla on September 22, 2011 at 6:33 pm

hey there were a couple typos in the scene where jess tells harry to fix his weapons systems. you put down twice and you forgot to put of in the phrase out “of” his cell.

gunsmen45 on September 22, 2011 at 6:37 pm

i predict annika smashing the vampires with her bare hands. if she is his sister, may have had powers like joe lying dormant the entire time. anyone else in on the bet?

SeymoreAsses on September 22, 2011 at 6:43 pm

@gunsmen45 – Ahh! Thanks for the catches! Ugh, I’m bad at this :D

Joe on September 22, 2011 at 7:14 pm

joe’s favour that he owes dom should be some of his eternaly thirst-quenching blood, which is one of the things doc needs to cure dom.

hypnokrit on September 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm

stop here!? NOW!? …damn…

frida on September 22, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Holy S**T!

Shadowhuntress on September 23, 2011 at 12:38 am

great scene… Still, i would watch that deadly warrior episode, but i can’t… Hope they show it in spain soon

Blues on September 23, 2011 at 1:26 am

Don’t tell me Bernie will turn into a vampire too!!!!! Will he be lovey-dovey-vampey couple with Rosa?! Wait… There is his father who could or could not be a vampire executioner… That’s 3 good or Ex-good vampires or whatever…

NeoWarrior on September 23, 2011 at 2:02 am

Annika pushes Bernie out of the way, right? OR Bernie slaps the soldier in the FACE! By summoning Arbiter or something.

Shade Person on September 23, 2011 at 2:25 am

gjgj Joe :)

Protke! on September 23, 2011 at 2:43 am

OHHH GODDDD.Anyway Joe i was so hyped after reading ur post (i always do :D) that i decided to go to youtube and search it up and It was extremely satisfyng :P Oh well Cya til next time?

Dagzter on September 23, 2011 at 4:10 am


Deadlist warrior is an amazing show.

defuse on September 23, 2011 at 4:20 am

Save them with your crossbow Butch! (I think his name was Butch, right?)

Tara on September 23, 2011 at 8:16 am

YEA ive seen DW.Also that was scary at the end when the zompire soilder,because the elder got turned,at the last second CRAP!

Gray on September 23, 2011 at 8:18 am

Oh s*** things got pretty intense now :O

Also, I think the ninja would defeat the spartan if he could do it stealthy, otherwise I think the Spartan would have a little advantage :P

Keter on September 23, 2011 at 8:50 am

Bernie next move: KAMEKAMEHAAAAA

Drakhat on September 23, 2011 at 9:15 am

@Alex: *Raises Hand Also*

Leviticus on September 23, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Goodness knows I’ve tried to like DW, for the ‘awesum kewl’ factor, but that show is just so offensively dumb!
It’s like a big factory of dumb pumping dumbness into the atmosphere!
Ninja vs. Spartan? There are only A THOUSAND YEARS between those two disciplines. And they made no distinction between the steel of the ninja’s weapons and the softer bronze of the spartan arms and armour….
And the ninjato is a purely fictional weapon from martial arts movies…
(Yeah… I know. Being a history buff can be tiresome for those around me!)

Norman D. Landings on September 23, 2011 at 5:37 pm


Katasumi on September 23, 2011 at 6:09 pm

*cries on drakhats shoulder*

Katasumi on September 23, 2011 at 6:11 pm

I’m pretty sure author joe is going to take this down *spoiler*, i remember in the second chapter somewhere, when outer joe -dream- talked to andy for one more training session where andy gave two guards for joe to mind kill and bust down a barricade door… well joe was in a sense of sleep walking, joe did kill two guards and as seen on the video, bust down that same barricade. so it’s not entirely joe’s fault. anyways… thumbs up by me XD

decifer on September 23, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Eine weitere Großartige Folge
Mach weiter so^^
Another Great Episode
Keep it up^^

Some Guy From Germany on September 23, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Next scene: Sam and Dean Winchester appear chopping the vampires heads off. lol jk

And Ninjas can beat the hell out of anything

Vitor on September 23, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Next Scene: Chuck Norris comes from the roof shouting ‘THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAAA’ and roundhouse kicks the sh1t outta the vampires.

Why I say vampires? There’s one explaination: Rosa didn’t become a zombpire when she was bitten. So,I guess Dom became a zombpire because Cross couldn’t give him the vamp virus Dom arleady had. Maybe the strongest virus comes inside the victim instead of both. Btw,@Alex *Raises Hand*

Happy Vampire on September 23, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Deadliest Warrior? Never seen it, how about deadly ROBOTS? ive seen this epic show known as Robot Wars where somewhat metal clad RC Cars (aka robots) smash each other to bits, there was a brilliant but dangerous arena and some cheating House Robots but were permitted only in the corners.

Robi on September 23, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Mother of god, joe (The real one) you are a fucking master #_#

Yay! on September 24, 2011 at 12:48 am

Dear Norman D. Landings: Nijatos are real weapons, that were used in japan before the creation of the samurai system that was used in Japan until the eighteenth or nineteenth (i can’t remeber XD). They are the predecesors of the katanas, and the main diference is that the ninjato is not a curved sword, unlike the katana (but still, ninjas didn’t use ninjatos)

Blues on September 24, 2011 at 3:35 am

Appreciate the info, Blues, but it’s something I’ve looked into, and I have to concur with Stephen Turnbull on this one.

There certainly were straight-bladed swords -chokuto- in early Japanese history, but they predate the Samurai class system, and THAT predates the advent of the ‘true’ Ninja (i.e. the Iga & Koga hereditary Ninja clans) by some 500 years.
And you’re right, they bear no resemblance to anything the Ninja used.

The Ninjato is strictly modern martial arts/movie inspired. No connection to the chokuto, which was probably of Chinese origin.

Really, I spend far too much time on this stuff! :)

Norman D. Landings on September 24, 2011 at 8:30 am

I admit I love the balistic gell experiments n the trying to chop a carcass in half with a sword, but other than that, the show is stupid. I mean Ninja Vs Sparten should of been 2 seconds long. simulation starts, it’s just a ninja in the field…where’s mr spartan? oh that’s right, the ninja snuck into his house last night while he was asleep and poisoned his food, then left. the spartan died at 6am this morning with stomach cramps, cause that’s how a ninja rolls. he dosen’t sneak up on a ninja in the middle of the day in the middle of a field! n if I remember right, one of the spartan Experts talked about how if a ninja threw ground up glass and hot peppers into his eyes, the sparten would just “shake it off”……shake off having ground up glass in your eyes….It’s basicly just 2 fan boys trying to say their stuff is cooler. n the Vampire vs zombies one is a fail too cause there’s no one type of zombie or vampire. you got Anne Rice, Twighlight(accept it), 30 days, nosferartu, dracular, Alucard (of hellsing, fyi, him vs anything, he wins) n white wolf’s Vampire Masqurade (and many more n zombies u got Georgio a Romerio, Original Night of the dead, Remake Dawn of the Dead, Day of the dead, Left 4 Dead, Night of the living trekkies, Resident Evil, even world of warcraft!! (and more) no such thing as a simple “Zombies” vs “vampires” match

Trojianmaru on September 24, 2011 at 8:42 am